Sayin' and Sprayin'
"Say it, don't spray it." Bet you heard that a time or two in childhood, right? Maybe you've even said it after somebody inadvertently spit in your direction when talking. But did you ever stop to think that what you say, you spray?
When you speak, your words are like sprayed seeds: seeds of love and grace or seeds of wrath and destruction. If bitterness reigns within a person, others can see its manifestation just by listening to the person's words. Is that you? Ever complained about your friend to someone else? Ever spent time explaining how someone did you wrong? Those words shoot forth seeds of dissension and anger. The seeds find soil in your friend's mind. Like insidious weeds, they take root to contaminate and defile your friend.
Then, your friend's mouth opens. And out sprays the fruit from your seeds. Serious trouble sets in further.
You may not have totally forgiven -- or even started to forgive -- the "Bob" in your life, but let's not make a bad situation worse by spreading seeds of hate. Shooting forth your resentment with words reveals you to have more faith in your unforgiveness than God's ability to empower you to forgive. Faith in your feelings of hate and resentment is opposite of living under the power of Biblical words of truth.
Romans 10:17  So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Faith in God comes by hearing the Word of God, but faith in things that oppose God comes by hearing the words that oppose God. Therefore, when you speak words that oppose God, you not only confirm them more in your heart by speaking them, but also by hearing yourself speak them. What you hear, you grow faith in. Hear it. Believe it. Hear truth. Believe truth. Hear hate. Believe hate. Which would your words reveal you to live?
It's time to stop spraying negative seeds. Not only will you be helping yourself but you will also be helping the people around you, who won't have to hear your negativity.
Matthew 12:34  You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
You may be at the beginning stages of the forgiveness process and your heart may still feel very hurt and your mind still has negative thoughts about your "Bob", but that doesn't mean you should keep speaking out of the negativity in your heart. You have to remember that only God can truly transform your heart. He's the only one that can take your thoughts of revenge and transform them into loving thoughts. However, while you're in that process, you can still choose now to stay quiet and not say anything at all or even -- gasp -- find something positive to say about your "Bob."
Proverbs 21:23 (NLT)  Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.
Isn't that verse great? Every time I read it, I have this vision of a mom, hand on hip, admonishing her wayward child with a pointed finger, "Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you'll stay out of trouble, son."
Can it get any plainer? Remember that every time you speak out of the bitterness of your heart, you cause trouble and defile many. When you begin to surrender your unforgiveness to God and ask for Him to heal you from the inside out, He will start prompting you to keep your mouth shut in certain moments. It's up to you to accept or reject the prompting, but rest assured He will faithfully provide it through the Holy Spirit.
Keep in mind, too, that your mind serves as soil for others' words. Got a friend who likes to talk smack about a Bob? Remove yourself from the spray of weedy seeds.
1 Corinthians 15:33-34  Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."[a] 34 Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning;
So, while you're allowing God's healing power to work in your life, choose now to align your words to His will. Choose to speak words of truth and encouragement. Purposely set out to build others up. Yes, mind and heart may still be healing, but your words can help the process. Rely on God for your ultimate healing, but help His process with your spoken words.
Ephesians 4:29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The very best things that you can think or say are found in the word of God. You can look up key words in the back of your bible or on the internet (www.BibleGateway.com is a good source) to find all the verses that pertain to that topic. Look up all the scriptures on love and begin to speak them out loud. You will find that there is great positive power for healing and transforming your heart and mind when you speak the word of God out loud.
Be especially cautious of what you speak around your children. They will model how you talk about other people; be it positively or negatively. Take a stand to speak in a way that builds a foundation on the God's Word, not your words of anger.
Pick a "Bob" or two in your life and find something positive about them to say to one of your friends. Say it. At first, say it to God if that's all you can do. He'll give you more positive things you can say about that person. Remember, God can think of endless things He loves about your Bob. He did, after all, create your Bob.
Father, I continue to surrender any and all of my bitterness, anger, frustration, and thoughts of revenge towards (insert "Bob's" name), and I ask that you transform my heart and mind so that I can see them like you do. Until the full healing and transformation takes place, help me see the positive things about them and help me to speak those positive things to others. Lord, thank you for making the impossible, possible, in Jesus' name, Amen.