The “Forgiveness Substitutes” Dilemma

coping forgiveness Feb 21, 2018

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Ok, let’s start with the bad—You CANNOT solve the problem of sin in your life. Bummer eh? Ok, now the good news—God already solved the problem of sin! WooHoo! Wait a minute, so how do we make that reality work positively in our lives?

Well, first understand that ‘Forgiveness is God’s solution to a problem He calls sin.’ That’s right, whether someone sinned against you or God or you sinned against God and someone else. Historically, we learn from the bible that God’s solution to the sin (all the past, current, and future sin) is forgiveness. Specifically, that’s why He sent His son Jesus as a sacrifice for YOUR and MY sins.

So, when sin enters your life you have two and only two very clear options: 1) You enter into a forgiveness God already made happen through Jesus on the Cross. This leads to healing, restoration of soul, mind, body, and relationships 2) You implement forgiveness substitutes known as ‘Coping Mechanisms’. The problem with Coping Mechanisms is that they don’t lead to healing, but instead; a destructive cycle of damage and pain. Let’s take a deeper look:

  • Either you sin or someone sins against you.
  • Since all sins are destructive, that sin damages your soul.
  • Even though you cannot see the damage, you feel the pain (guilt, hurt, anger, depression) and your soul is no longer able to function the way it did before.
  • The discomfort and crippling effects of the damage caused by sin now forces a response. You learn to make adjustments to protect yourself from the pain and to manage your dysfunction, through one of many cheap, easy, or manageable ways to “cope” with the problem.
  • Our failure to practice forgiveness leads us into more sin, more damage, more pain, more dysfunction, and on and on and on.

>>Coping Mechanisms are always substitutes for practicing forgiveness.

>>Coping Mechanisms naturally lead to more sin.

God wants to set us free from the cycle of sin and of death and practicing all aspects of forgiveness is how God breaks the cycle

God wants you to replace your forgiveness substitutes/coping mechanisms with real forgiveness so that He can heal you. Becoming familiar with your personal substitutes for forgiveness will help you to realize when you are doing them, and in turn, give you the opportunity to resist them and practice forgiveness instead.

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